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The dictionary defines cellulite as 'lumpy fat deposits in the thighs and buttocks.' Doesn't cellulite sound just as lovely as it looks? I thought so. I have some rather bad news: Thanks to the way our bodies are made, women experience cellulite more than men do.

Yes, I know what you're thinking. "Oh great, one more thing we have to deal with and men don't!" Darn straight. Men sure get off the hook a lot, don't they? But here's the real question: Do you want to know how to get rid of cellulite? Of course you do. And it may be as simple as not eating certain foods.

Have you ever ignored the little voice in your head that told you that the moist chocolate cake you were about to bite into would be going straight to your hips and butt? That's just the kind of thing you want to stay away from.

And this usually includes food high in sugars and saturated fats. All that yummy gooey stuff like cake, sweets, pie, ice cream, cookies, and so on. Yes, I absolutely understand that these are the only good things in life, but ladies!we have to let them go.

I do however have a suggestion for how to get rid of cellulite and not miss those things we love so much. Replace all those foods with vices that are just as sinful and wonderful. Buy a new Lexus. Take long hot baths. Go on a fling with a younger man. Buy jewelry dripping with diamonds. Buy a new wardrobe.

But I haven't told you the biggest kicker of all: We must exercise. Cardio, aerobics and other workouts will shrink our fat cells and this is great for minimizing the appearance of cellulite.

Wait, don't run away, I have another replacement to suggest for you! Two words, three syllables: Shoe shopping. We can do it, ladies. Now that you've learned how to get rid of cellulite, use your knowledge and whip your butt into shape.